Archive for December, 2008

Last night, after a treacherous highway drive in a fresh blanket of snow which included everything from cars to ambulances spinning and swerving every which way, I decided to walk home rather than wait for the bus.  

I figured the bus would take longer and I was correct, as I beat it to my place. It’s never as cold outside when it snows, and despite my extreme hatred for winter, it actually looked kind of pretty.

I guess my temporary mood change has to do with the fact that I’m leaving in five days, so I figured I can risk some snow appreciation for about five minutes.  I threw on my hood, shoved my ungloved hands in my pockets, and braved the horizontal blowing snow.  

The sound of my boots crunching in the white stuff overpowered my ipod tunage. Suddenly, I had a mad urge for Oreo’s. A fresh coat of snow and the feeling of boots hitting it always reminds me of the creamy, middle part of an Oreo.  Mmmmm.  

The sidewalks were deserted, assuming that no one else was crazy enough to take a stroll in sideways snow, except for the random wacked out dude who ran past me singing at the top of his lungs.

The wind never changed it’s direction, which was aimed directly for my face, but I didn’t care.  My face was soaked and my eyelashes were coated with icy snow, but I kept going like I was on some sort of Arctic mission. Surprisingly, I felt quite peaceful walking alone in the fluffy white stuff.  

By the time I got to my place, my temporary love for snow had ceased, mainly, because I was freezing my ass off. I paused as I passed the lobby mirror and laughed.  I wish I had my camera, but to give you an idea, I looked quite similar to this:

abominable_snowmanOkay, I’m sure I didn’t look as bad as the abominable snowman, but it was close, I promise.  By the time I got to my apartment, the snow had melted away, along with my short appreciation for winter. I cranked up the heat and drank many-a-hot chocolate with a ton touch ‘o rum.  

 See – I’m not all that horrible, mostly… sometimes.

Incase you missed it or skimmed by too quickly or didn’t catch the bold italics… FIVE days until I breakup with winter.  Ahhh, and what a glorious day it will be.

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As I sat there trying not to stab my eyeballs out while listening to an extremely high volume decibel of Christmas songs (not the nice ones, you know, the one’s that SCREAM cheese and make you wonder how on earth these people ever entertained the thought of making an album), I’m shot dirty looks because I’m a ruiner.  That’s right.  Apparently, I may have ruined Christmas Eve.  

Why, you ask?  Because I’m a grinch? Possibly, but I try to fake niceness and whatnot for the sake of other Christmas lovers and family.  

Instead, I’m a ruiner because I didn’t move the car.  Yep, that’s right.  It snowed like 8 trillion centemeters over the past week or so, and then rained.  So slush had taken over.  Olympic size swimming pools of slush.  Everywhere.  My feet have been wet for 24 hours.  No matter what I do.  So there I was, in the basement frantically gift-bagging presents last minute as always and I’m told that I need to move the car, from the street to the driveway, before the plow comes or it will block me in (with all that slush?) and make a mess.  I exclaimed that it didn’t really matter, you know, since slush is not the same consistency as cement, and I was okay with dealing with it.  Anyhoo, after much frantic worrying re: slush,  I gave in and moved the damn car.  The plow had just passed, but I moved the car anyways.  I was too late and was reminded of that about 20 times. I’m pretty sure everyone heard about it, including family overseas.  Even though the plow went down the entire pool of a street, it still looked exactly the same.  But, I was too late, and therefore mysteriously caused the mess on the street. Ruiner! In her defense, the slush eventually froze and it did make a slight mess, but you know, whatever.  It was livable,  and the world didn’t end, so it couldn’t have been that terrible.   Anyhoo, I was forgiven eventually… it’s a Christmas miracle! 

I also discovered that my Eastern European side of the family has some entertaining, strange pet peeves.  For example, a cousin of mine can’t stand the smell of the fridge when it’s open.  So much so, that she literally plugs her nose, holds her breath and covers her mouth every time it’s open.  She’s worried that the fridge smell will waft into her body and turn into germs. If she has to open it herself and can’t hold her breath for as long as it takes her to make a decision, she will close the fridge, leave the room and then take a gulp of fresh, fridge-smell free, germless air.  

Cuz believes that one of my pet peeves is worse.  Every year the cousins do the dishes before present opening.  I either wash, put away, or supervise. Last year I got to supervise, which was awesomesauce, but this year the other Cuz was sick, so I opted for washing. Never, ever, do I dry.  

Our conversation went a little something like this:

Cuz:  I can’t believe you’d rather wash than dry.  You’re nuts.

Me:  Ya, well, you know, I can’t stand the feeling of a wet dish towel.

Cuz: Why?

Me:  Ew. Wet cotton.  Cotton.  Ew.  I can’t even touch a cotton ball.  It freaks me out.  Way out.

Cuz:  So you’d rather dip your hands in nasty food water and touch a germy sponge?

Me:  Yep.  I’d rather lick the sponge than touch a wet dish towel.  

Cuz:  Ewwwwww.  So gross.

Me:  Well, obviously I wouldn’t actually lick the sponge.  I just don’t like wet cotton, or cotton in general. 

Cuz:  Well do you wear cotton?

Me:  Sometimes, but I try not to get 100 percent.  I don’t even like cotton sports socks.  They give me the heebee geebees. 

Cuz:  That’s so much weirder than my fridge problem.  

Me:  I suppose.  But you’re the one who thinks fridge smell changes into germs that float up your nose and infect you.

Cuz:  Ya, we’re a weird family.

Me:  Yup.

Other than that Christmas was rather uneventful.  I still found myself spending the majority of the time driving from one city to the next.  I stayed overnight where I hadn’t in years (due to past drama), being in the spirit of the season and all.  It was drama free, but still relatively uncomfortable.  You know, that type of uneasiness where you feel the need to raise your hand to go to the washroom, and half expect a hall monitor to pop in and tell you that you’re sitting on the toilet wrong and to stop using so much toilet paper.  

All and all, it was nice to chill with the fam.  One of the highlights, as per usual, were my niece and nephew and their crazy holiday excitement.  My 5 year old niece proved that she can speak and pronounce french better than any adult I’ve ever seen (I literally almost cried, she was so damn cute). And then, the most darling 3 year old nephew ever, ran down the stairs buck naked with his schlong swinging to and fro, and then continued to plaster his face with red tinted chap stick.  Ah, the kiddo’s… always a source of good entertainment.  

And now, back to my countdown… one week until I break up with winter.  Weeee!

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Seeing as it’s my last day in the circus, these are just some of the sound bites I’ve overheard today.  For serious.  Real quotes:


“Turn around, spread wide.  Here’s your Christmas present.”


“Ahh, shit I’m bored.  I really bored if I’m talking about going home on a dogsled with huskies.”


“Whoo hoo.  My criminal background check actually came back positive!”


“Anybody got a bottle of wine we can crack open?”


A: “You guys want to see something warm and fuzzy?”

B:  “Put your pickle away.” 


“I just turned up the heat on that chicken.  You’re in there now.”


“It’s smooth and silky and wrinkly.  It’s a very heavy kind of underwear.”


“Fuuuuuck!”  Numerous times, followed by much banging of random things on desks.


“Shiiiiiit!”  Same as above.


“Don’t know. Don’t care.”


“Incompetent boobs.”


A:Do not be on the internet if he’s around.”

B: “What are they going to do, fire her?”


“I think the grinch really did steal Christmas.  We’re the only one’s left in this morgue.”


“Kiss my grits.”


“Can I come with you to Barbados?  I’ll wash the floors with my tongue.  Anything is  better than this.”


“I need to wet my whistle. It’s not working properly.”


A: “Isn’t that a fire harzard?” Referring to the massive stacks of desks and chairs that line the halls in the dungeon.

B: “It doesn’t matter.  We’re on a gas line and will blow up anyways.”


“I’m supposed to have numbnuts in that day.”


“Suck my manachos!”


“No offense dude, but you’re just fucking lazy.”


“Did you know that cows can walk up stairs but not down them?  Can you imagine the farmer that figured that one out?  ‘Oh, shit, my wife is home! Go, go, go!’ Mooo. Ha. Ha. Ha.” 


“The men in this place are sooooo stupid.”


“Your pickle’s looking a little dusty.  You should take it home and polish it.”  Okay, I lied.  That’s from last week, but it’s so good I had to include it.


Today there is a massive snow storm outside.  It’s snowing so much you can barely see your hand in front of  your face. Most of the city has been sent home early, but not us, of course. I’ve just heard that they have literally closed the entire building that I’m in, and sent the employees home.  But… here we are, surfing the net amongst occasional yelling and screaming.    


At least it will be my last trek home from this place.  

Ironically, this morning my alarm didn’t go off and it was the first time I was ever late for this job – on my last day. The subway was delayed due to fires and transit signals that were not working with the weather conditions.  Go figure. I’m going to take a wild guestimate and assume it will take me in the area of 3 hours to get home.

On another positive note, apparently I’m not as invisible as I thought.  Today I received a goodbye lunch and gift, complete with cake and all.  Surprisingly, I have no negative comments about it.  It was actually quite nice and tasty. I also scored a bottle of booze yesterday.  Who knew? I’m pretty sure it was re-gifted, but no complaints here.  I’ll take a free bottle no matter how it comes.

And that concludes my work in the circus!!  It hasn’t hit me yet, and most likely won’t until Monday.  

Seventeen days until eternal sunshine.  Yessssss.

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I’ve seen this a couple times, and now it’s my turn… since I’m bored as hell, time for another random list of randomness….

The things I have done are in BOLD.

1. Started my own blog 
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower (so amazing)
6. Given more than I can afford to charity 
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis 
10. Sung a solo (in the shower?)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightening at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France 
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (many)
24. Built a snow fort (once we built a snow fort shaped like an igloo with a secret door in the back, so that when we threw snowballs at cars, we had a secret hiding spot to slide into like some sort of super hero.  Ahh, those were the days).
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (Weeee! I miss doing that)
32. Been on a cruise (not a real cruise, I’m not really into that.  But I’ve been on quite a few booze cruises).
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person (born and raised on the Canadian side).
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors 
35. Seen an Amish community 
36. Taught myself a new language (pfft… here is my explanation about that).
37. Have enough money to be truly satisfied (I’ve pretty much accepted that it will ever happen).
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke (and trust me, it ain’t pretty).
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant (no, but I’ve given a homeless person enough to buy a meal, assuming that’s what he actually did with the money).
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris 
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (Breathing through an air tank freaks me out. Way out).
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud 
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie 
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching 
63. Got flowers for no reason (wow, now I’m depressed).
64. Donated blood
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (awww, my precious piggy – I still have him).
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar (I’ve tried it… not my cup of tea).
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (I’ve only been fired once, from a 3rd party collections agency, while I was in training, for being ‘too nice’)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (one ankle, two feet)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (for work)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (haha that will be the day)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper (When I was 10, I designed the transit mascot for Niagara Falls.  He still makes parade appearances to this day).
85. Read the entire Bible (and yet I went to Catholic schools, how ironic).
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 
88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury (I’ve always wanted to do this.   I’m still waiting….)
91. Met someone famous (Michael Douglas and Katherine Zeta-Jones briefly in Barbados, and author Austin Clarke… I got to chill in his amazing pad of billions of books.  So. Awesome.)
92. Joined a book club (I love books, but not clubs about them).
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Rode an elephant

50% – not bad, not bad at all.  Well, now that I’ve only wasted 10 minutes, on to yet another e-book…

Countdown status:

1.5 days left of my job…. 18 days left of my winter and away to Barbados I go. Weeeeee!

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And so the countdown continues…  today is the last Tuesday of my transit commute and working at the circus.  Weeeeeee! To celebrate, let’s reflect on yet another random transit story.

Yesterday’s weather was pretty wishy-washy.  It started off as quite a warm day for December, although very windy and rainy.  Some where in between 9 and 5, the temperature literally dropped 10 degrees.  The wind never let up, so therefore, the commute home was, for lack of a better phrase, goddamn fucking freezing.

Since the day started off warm, all I had with me was a broken umbrella, and an ‘I’m in denial that it’s actually winter‘ coat.  The station that I wait for my last bus home is sort of covered, and sort of not.  It just so happens that the area where my bus stops gets a massive wind tunnel.  This resulted in about 100 people huddled together, trying to find the best direction to stand in order to block the freezing wind. I was at the front of the huddle, since I had missed the previous bus by a split second.  The wind was so crazy that my long hair actually stood up straight, as if I was being electrocuted. When it wasn’t standing up straight, it was flying into the faces and/or mouths of the people huddled around me. Lovely.

One dude beside me was a regular, as I’ve seen him many times on the way home. He had on a big, puffy warm coat.  I tried to use my super-strength mind power to get him to come and give me a big hug to keep me warm, but to no avail. I counted about 20 buses that entered the station that weren’t mine. Each time a bus would enter the station, the crowd would gasp with anticipation, and then let out a loud fuck/shit/crap/jesus/dammit sigh and hope that the next one would be ours.  Finally, the 32 entered the station and pulled up to the massive crowd.  

It’s interesting that every time I gain some faith in my fellow commuters, they always manage to let me down, big time.  The bus pulled up to us and suddenly everyone from behind started pushing. The bus driver caught on and refused to open the door.  

So picture this…  

I’m at the front of the crowd.  Therefore, I’m being pushed into a door that the driver won’t open. Finally, he gives in, and the herd pushes on. I practically flew onto the bus, and since the bastards kept on pushing, my purse got lodged in between a few of them.  It stopped me in my tracks, so I turned around and started yanking.  I snarled, but it wasn’t effective.  Then I resorted to,

‘Gimme my purse!’

The pack of dogs eventually let up. At the same time I yanked with all of my mighty muscle power, and I fell backwards onto the bus driver.  

‘Fucking savages,’ was the only thing I managed to blurt out.

I mean, what on earth do they think will be accomplished by acting like a bunch of wild animals?  Ya, it’s cold.  We’re all cold.  If these people would have acted in an orderly fashion, we would have piled onto the bus faster.  But, you know, this is too much to expect from big city slickers.   




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I’m a pretty big news and politics junkie.  I’m sure that has something to do with studying journalism and whatnot. Anyhoo, this weekend I witnessed one of the the most entertaining stories I’ve seen all year and I just can’t help but comment about it.

Awesome. As if that wasn’t entertaining enough, his stuttered response, or lack there of, topped the cake. Oh, Georgey, you continually manage to prove just how much of an idiot you really are.  I kind of wished it was a tomato, or a some sort of cream filled pie, but shoes will just have to do.

To this day, it still boggles me that this man managed to get elected twice.  

Really.  Really?  




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*Sigh* Ah, it’s Monday yet again.  On a positive note (for me, anyways) it is the last Monday I that I will have to deal with my fabulous commute, and even better, my circus of a job.  Weeee!  With all of this in mind though, I still feel pretty lethargic today – the fact that it’s raining and that Coldplay is on repeat on my ipod probably doesn’t help.  

Speaking of rain, I have a question.  With all of the technological savvy things we have in our society today, why on earth has no one invented an umbrella that can withstand the wind without flipping over backwards?  Why?  I mean, we can GPS practically any location on earth, but we can’t make a sturdy umbrella?  Okay, I know these things have nothing to do with one another, but I can’t think of a better example so early in the morning.


So now that I’ve been made aware that my director is absent today (by word of mouth, because god forbid I’m included in any kind of office correspondence – seriously, sometimes I really think that I may be invisible), I already have two posts in mind.  One of them is along my regular patterns, and the other not so much.  I’m going to start with the later, as I really need to get it off my chest and it contributes to my lethargic mood.  Maybe if I write it down my mood will lighten some. I don’t really feel like I can talk to anyone about it, so cyberspace, you’re it.  It will probably give some insight to my heightened Grinchiness at this time of year.  It’s all about feelings and whatnot, so if you aren’t in the mood, stop here.  You’ve been warned.

So, here we go.  My weekend had its moments, but in the end was not all that great.  To add to that, a family member, whom I love dearly, but really, really, really (I can’t stress that enough) knows how to push my buttons.  She knows just what to say to make me sob uncontrollably in an instant.  And even though she means well, sometimes she just won’t stop.  English is not her native tongue, so sometimes it comes out wrong.  But, even though she can hear my voice cracking through the phone, she pushes on. When I beg her to stop, she just keeps going. I completely understand the point she tries to get across, and I appreciate it, but sometimes it passes the point of being tactful. I understand she only wants the best, but some things are better left unsaid. But hey, that’s what family is for, right? Right.  

Anyhoo, most times I can brush it off, but I was already in one of those moods, you know?  I really felt as though she attacked my character, and that’s what got me in the end.  Here’s some background info:

I come from a divorced family like a large percentage of people. I’m sure  many are in worse situations than me, but everything is relative, and for me, at this moment, this is it.  Not only are my parents divorced, but I can count on one hand the number couples (cousins, aunts, uncles etc) that are still married in quite a large family.  Remarriages average from one to four times per person, with many children from each.  I’m not judging here, but this probably explains my lack of knowledge of what a ‘real’ relationship looks like, and why I have no idea what to do in one myself. Anyhoo, this is beside the point.  

In a nutshell, among others, the comment that got me this weekend was something to the effect of, 

‘You treat people that try to help you like shit, and kiss the ass of those that treat you badly.’

This really offended me, big time.  I mean, I try my best, now, to treat everyone fairly.  I know when I was younger things were different, but I was a lost soul and immature.  I try my best to please everyone, but in the end, it generally bites me in the ass.

Every time I go home I hear one side bash the other openly in front of my face, as the other side probably secretly bashes the other, but at least they leave me out of it.  Each time I go home to drama.  

Drama, drama, drama.  

The holiday’s have always consisted of me driving from one city to another, trying to please everyone, but still shot down with guilt trips, because no matter how thin I stretch myself, it’s never good enough.  

Why can’t you come here for this?  Why do you have to be with them for that? Why this, why that. Why can’t you digest five meals in one day?  Why can’t you stay here, or there?  Why do you put up with this, why do you put up with that? Why don’t you say this, why don’t you say that?  

Blah, blah, blah.

What bothers me is, it seems that no one stops to think about what it’s like for me. It doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the case, but that is how I see it from my eyes.  

Ya, no one is perfect, that’s life.  Sometimes, some people may treat me like shit, but I’m not going to change who I am as a person because of that.  I know I’ve said before that I’m a big karma believer.  I’m all about getting back what you put in, and trying to treat people how you would like to be treated yourself. So when I get the shaft, or whatnot, and am suddenly asked for support in some way, I still give it. Why? Because it’s my family, and I care.  Easy as that.  I’m not going to hold a grudge for years and years (although this is quite common in my family) because of ill spoken words or actions. Sometimes things are just the way they are, and you have to deal with it.  Some things are harder than others.  Some people and some things, will never change. Some people don’t mean what they say, and other’s don’t say what they mean. Some situations are not how you envision them be, no matter how hard you try. 

And yes, I’m aware of my own faults, and as if that’s not enough, I am continuously reminded by people. Yes, I’m not confrontational enough.  Yes, I let things slide too often.  Yes, I don’t express my emotions enough. Yes, I hold it all in too long. Yes, I get very defensive.  And, yes, apparently, I aim to please.

These are things I can work on, but in the grand scheme of things, so what?  Why are people so quick to judge and point out your faults, but not your positive traits? It’s always about how I’m not doing this or that, and I should be one way or the other.

What’s wrong with just being me? Is that really so horrible? Now, I’m not saying this to be conceited or narcissistic, but I actually like who I am, and I think that’s a pretty huge accomplishment.  

I know family says things because they care etc etc, but due to contrary belief, I am one sensitive little lady. I may seem like I’m a tough cookie sometimes, but really, deep down, I’m not.  

And this, dear cyberspace, is why I hate the holiday’s and can’t wait get out of here. No matter how hard I try to avoid it, enter drama. I wish for one visit, I could sit back and enjoy the company of the people I love. It’s unfortunate, but I seem to have greater mental stability when I’m not in close vicinity of all of the drama.  

For once, I wish people would just appreciate my efforts, and leave it at that. For once, I wish I wasn’t made to feel like everything is at the fault of my own actions. I make mistakes, I say the wrong things, I don’t stand up for myself enough, and stand up too much for people that don’t always deserve it.  

After all, I’m only human.  

Okie dokes.  Congratulations to anyone that made it through that, and who ever you are, thanks for listening.

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