Yes that’s right ladies and gents… the procrastination champion is back in the building… er… back in cyberspace… whatever. I have to keep up my gold medal status, you know, and/or the caffeine hasn’t completely hit my bloodstream yet, and/or I am currently lacking focus.
Anyhoo, Mr. Plumber just left after finally fixing the shower. Yay. Now, I know what you’re thinking…
“Oh. my. god. that girl hasn’t showered in a WEEK? Fucking gross.”
Well, no. Mr. Plumber made a previous visit where he allowed the shower to run water, but only with the involvement of tools. I was okay with that, really, but it’s nice to have a shower that doesn’t include a wrench, and the possibility of tendinitis after fiddling with rusty nails.
Some interesting facts about Mr. Plumber’s visit:
1) He took off his shoes… and socks. I’m still deciding whether this is extremely courteous, or just plain nauseating.
2) He asked me for lubricant. I was quite taken aback with this one. I laughed, and then asked what exactly he needed that for (I’m sure there are a variety of plumber type jokes that could be inserted here). But instead, he responded with the most obvious,
‘I need it to slide dis stick-part into de hole.’
I must admit, I was a little disappointed with the lack of creativity in his answer.
3) The last time Mr. Plumber made a visit he took note of all of the other various broken things around the house (the doorbell, the front light, the door itself…)
Last week:
Mr. P: Your doorbell doesn’t work, I had to knock.
Me: Ya, well, a lot of stuff doesn’t work here… let’s focus on the shower. Need. Shower.
******
This week
Mr. P: There’s something wrong with this door.
Me: Yes.
Mr.P: I can’t shut it properly.
Me: You have to really pull it. Really. With all of your strength.
Mr.P: <tries but fails>
Me: Here… <shows off my pipes and door pulling skills>
Mr. P: Your doorbell doesn’t work.
Me: Yes, we established that last time.
Mr. P: I will look for a new one for you.
Me: Great! But it does work you know, you just have to stick your fingers between the two broken plastic parts.
Mr. P: Mmmm Hmmm. In the socket where there are live wires?
Me: <realizes how idiotic my comment was> Uh.. right. A new one would be ideal.
4) He has managed to avoid the classic ‘plumber’s crack’ with a onesi overall type arrangement. Plumbers around the world, take note. This is brilliant. The last thing I want to see is hairy butt fat, flooding over some obviously undersized or oversized pants.
Okay, no need to make any ass-crack jokes here as you’ve covered that base very nicely.