A plumbing experience

Yes that’s right ladies and gents… the procrastination champion is back in the building… er… back in cyberspace… whatever.  I have to keep up my gold medal status, you know, and/or the caffeine hasn’t completely hit my bloodstream yet, and/or I am currently lacking focus.

Anyhoo, Mr. Plumber just left after finally fixing the shower. Yay.  Now, I know what you’re thinking…

“Oh. my. god. that girl hasn’t showered in a WEEK? Fucking gross.”

Well, no.  Mr. Plumber made a previous visit where he allowed the shower to run water, but only with the involvement of tools.  I was okay with that, really, but it’s nice to have a shower that doesn’t include a wrench, and the possibility of tendinitis after fiddling with rusty nails.

Some interesting facts about Mr. Plumber’s visit:

1) He took off his shoes… and socks.  I’m still deciding whether this is extremely courteous, or just plain nauseating.

2) He asked me for lubricant. I was quite taken aback with this one.  I laughed, and then asked what exactly he needed that for  (I’m sure there are a variety of plumber type jokes that could be inserted here).  But instead, he responded with the most obvious,

‘I need it to slide dis stick-part into de hole.’

I must admit, I was a little disappointed with the lack of creativity in his answer.

3) The last time Mr. Plumber made a visit he took note of all of the other various broken things around the house (the doorbell, the front light, the door itself…)

Last week:

Mr. P: Your doorbell doesn’t work, I had to knock.

Me: Ya, well, a lot of stuff doesn’t work here… let’s focus on the shower.  Need. Shower.

******

This week

Mr. P:  There’s something wrong with this door.

Me: Yes.

Mr.P: I can’t shut it properly.

Me: You have to really pull it.  Really. With all of your strength.

Mr.P: <tries but fails>

Me:  Here… <shows off my pipes and door pulling skills>

Mr. P:  Your doorbell doesn’t work.

Me: Yes, we established that last time.

Mr. P: I will look for a new one for you.

Me: Great! But it does work you know, you just have to stick your fingers between the two broken plastic parts.

Mr. P: Mmmm Hmmm.  In the socket where there are live wires?

Me: <realizes how idiotic my comment was>  Uh.. right.  A new one would be ideal.

4) He has managed to avoid the classic ‘plumber’s crack’ with a onesi overall type arrangement.  Plumbers around the world, take note.  This is brilliant. The last thing I want to see is hairy butt fat, flooding over some obviously undersized or oversized pants.