Posts Tagged ‘batshit crazy dreams’

I always say how I remember my dreams, and that mostly, they are batshit crazy.  So, let’s reflect on last night’s dream, shall we?

It started off in my elementary school gym (this is common), with a mix of current friends, old co-workers and people I haven’t seen since elementary school or high school (also common).

I walk into the gym and think,

Here I am again. Why do I keep dreaming this?’

I look over and see those old little benches.  I see a friend.  He doesn’t belong here. He cut his hair.  He looks funny.  He tells me to join their group.  I do.

I glance around the gym.  I remember how we used to do flips off the stage onto those oversized mats. I remember the back stage area, with that little room up top.  I remember the room they kept the balls in.  I remember the office that we used to steal stashes of candy and chips from.  I remember writing on the walls of change room.

I take a better look and notice some familiar faces.  Parents of old friends.  Teachers.  Old classmates.  Current friends.

I can’t make the connection.

A firefighter walks from the side of the gym with the weird playground that comes out of the wall.  He tells me we are going to have a competition, so be ready.

I ask what kind, but he disappears.

I sit back down beside Funny Haircut, and try to find out what’s happening.  He tells me to trust him.  So I sit.

It feels like hours….

Suddenly we are outdoors, no longer at the school.  We are in a strange forest.  There are people everywhere.  It’s foggy and the dew is making my feet wet.

There is a massive tree with a handmade ladder that reaches nearly to the clouds.  The ladder seems incredibly unsafe.

An older Italian man in a posh suit starts to climb.  It’s common knowledge that he’s a mafia boss, although I’ve never seen him before in my life.  I ask Funny Haircut what’s going on.  He pushes me towards the ladder and says it’s my turn.  I obey and start climbing.

Suddenly I’m at the top, and see all of the participants below, who now resemble ants.

I don’t know why I’m up there, so I start to climb down.  I’m pushed from an unknown person above, and begin to slide down the ladder.  The tongs break as I slide.

I’m not scared, because I’m not afraid of heights.  I continue to slide. My bare legs hit the leaves and branches on the way down.  They cut me in some places, but I don’t feel any pain….

I suddenly find myself in an open field, surrounded by trees.  I can’t see anyone, except for Funny Haircut.  He tells me this is the next part of the competition.  I think I’m doing pretty well and tell him to bring it on.

I stand there and wonder what is next.  I don’t see anyone.  I hear a buzz from far away.  It gradually gets closer.  I know that sound.  I think it sounds like….


I cover my face and lay face down in the grass.  They swarm up my shirt, into my hair, and down my jeans.  I wonder when it was I changed from shorts to jeans.  I can feel them all over me.  Every single one.  The sound is so loud.  I can’t stand it.  I move my hands from my face and plug my ears.

I wonder when the bees will leave.  I don’t move a muscle. I am terrified. I wonder if I’ll die.

I hear a distant voice.  I think it’s Funny Haircut telling me to get up.  I cautiously unplug my ears.

‘Get up.’

I obey, stand up, and most of the bees drop off of me.  They die as they drop.  I frantically fling off the left over bees, while hysterically crying.  They are in my hair.  They are in my shirt, and down my pants.  I get angry with Funny Haircut and ask him why he would do this to me.  He tells me it’s part of the competition.

I check my body and realize I have not been stung.  We walk out of the field, through the trees and onto the next event….

Suddenly I’m in my old neighbourhood, the one I grew up in.

Funny Haircut and I are coming around the bend of the street where some of my friends used to live.  We were all staying at one girl’s house.  I am nervous about going there, since I haven’t seen her since high school and we had a falling out of sorts.  There are a bunch of people out front on her driveway yelling, including her mother.  Her mother frightens me in the June Cleaver/Stepford wife kind of way.

We pass another friend’s house first, and consider going in there.  We stop to say hi to her dad as usual, even though I know he has passed away.  He tells me,

‘Have a nice day Cricket’

He knows I hate that nickname.

He hands me a piece of lunch meat.  Funny Haircut and I share it, and walk over to the commotion.

June Cleaver approaches me and tells me that I owe her big-time.  I tell her she’s crazy and walk up to her daughter.  She still wears her hair the same and sports the brightest red lipstick possible.  She smiles and I politely smile back, because I need a place to sleep.  We walk in the front door….

Suddenly I’m in a car with my mom.  We are driving along the coast road, and I see the waves increasing.  I think to myself as she drives,

I’ve had this dream before.  The waves will flow up onto the road.  We will pass weird people in costume.  Someone will stop for happy hour.’

I wonder if I can change it.

As we drive I see the waves reach the road.  We pass people in pilgrim costumes.  They look out of place.

My mom is no longer driving.  We are in a taxi.  He pulls over and stops for happy hour.  We all get out, and stare at the waves with a crowd of people.  I look and see the taxi driver sucking back a rum and coke.  He’s wearing a pale yellow shirt and laughing.

I wake up.

I check my body for bee stings.

There are none.

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