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Posts Tagged ‘city’

I have issues with personal space.  Some days I can handle it, some days, not so much. Today is one of those days.  

While I was waiting for my last bus today, in the army style line up, I noticed the woman behind me sneaking closer, baby step by baby step.  I could tell because I could see her shadow.  She was reading the paper, and at one point it grazed my hair.  There’s tons of space.

Tons.  

I thought, ‘What’s up with this chick standing right on my ass?! Goddamn, I’m really not in the mood.  I can smell her coffee breath. Gross. Did her paper just touch my hair? What the f. MOVE.’

So, I played a little game.  

I moved up.  

She moved up.  

I moved up.  

She moved up.  

I moved sideways.

She moved sort of beside me.  

I moved up.  

She sneezed in my hair.  

In.

My.

Hair.  

She didn’t even cover her mouth.

Gross. What on earth is wrong with people?  

As far as I’m aware, my hair does not resemble a box of Kleenex.  I mean, even if she didn’t have time to cover her mouth, she could have at least turned her head slightly so her bodily fluids landed on the pavement rather than in my hair.  

Imagine the consideration.  I made sure to shoot her dirty looks and sat far from her.  I didn’t have the caffeine intake or patience to say anything, and even if I did, it wouldn’t have done any good really.

So, I scored a sweet bus seat, and an older woman plopped down beside me.  I say, ‘plopped’ because she entered the seat blindly, with the hopes of landing in her spot, but instead her butt landed on part of my leg.  After she shimmied over, she continued to check her watch 7 times.  

I counted.  

The reason I noticed was because every time she checked, she took off her glove and elbowed me in the side.  

Every time.  

Glove On. Glove Off. Glove On. Glove Off. Glove On. Glove Off.  

I was sitting beside the wall, so there was no where for me to move.  I was literally sitting sort of sideways and pressed up against the window, with the hopes her poking would stop.  Nah.

Whenever I have days like this, I think of that Seinfeld episode when Elaine gets stuck on the subway as she is on her way to a wedding.  She totally freaks out – whether it’s a good thing or not, I’m exactly the same. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and literally knock some sense into my fellow transit commuters.  

Instead, for now, I suppose I will settle for overly obvious eye rolls, shoulder checks, and the occasional swift tackle.  

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One of the stations I pass through on the way to work is a major transit hub. Mainly because it’s the ‘end of the line’ for that subway line.

Sometimes, my bus arrives at the station at the same time a train pulls in. As I head down to the train, there’s an up escalator and a set of stairs. Whenever a train comes in the same time I’m heading down, it’s like attack of the swarming black coats.  

Many people choose the stairs over the escalator, and fair enough, since escalator etiquette and the idea of ‘walk left, stand right‘ must be rocket science. So the stairs it is. Some people literally sprint up them, which always confuses me.  I mean, who in their right mind is actually in a rush to get to work? So in addition to these people being off their rockers, they also don’t seem to understand that stairs are not a one way street and some people actually need to get down them.  

Oh, what a concept!

It’s literally a game of shoulder checks, and sometimes, when needed, a swift tackle.  

Yesterday, I stood at the top of the stairs, took a deep breath, and faced the swarm of sprinting coats.  Most of the time I try to follow that one brave, lonesome transit rider heading down, so I can follow the path they’ve opened up.  No luck yesterday, though.  

About half way down, and a few shoulder checks later, one woman coming up the stairs stopped directly in front of me.  So, I stopped too.  She just looked at me, like a deer caught in head lights.  I raised my eyebrows and didn’t budge.  

She told me to move, and might I add, in a very rude tone.  Bad idea on a Monday.

I replied, ‘And where exactly would you like me to move to?  You have 8 lanes coming up the staircase and I don’t have a single one to go down. You move. Seriously.’  

She continued to stare at me.

I’ll admit, the thought of pushing her down the stairs did cross my mind, but you know, I’m not that mean, mostly.  So instead, I gave her the evil eye and stood my ground.  

She was obviously unaware of my condition – only childitis combined with supreme stubbornness.  I give in for no one. Take my word for it, I could stand there all day.  I believe she swore at me in some language, then gave up, and disappeared into the swarm.

HA.

It’s the small victories, it really is.

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