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Posts Tagged ‘public transit’

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Oh, public transit, how I missed you so.

Well, not really… but, you know.

Some things I’ve experienced lately on the brilliant red rocket:

a) Now, I know I’ve expressed this multiple times, but really, I just can’t get over it.  Eating on public transit gives me the heebee geebees.  Not the granola bar kind of eating… more like… corn on the cob kind of eating.

Yes…

Corn.

On.

The.

Cob.

Really? Wow. Thank you, random woman, for an amusing, yet repulsing subway ride.  She mashed up that corn like it was nobody’s business.  I’m talking, big, juicy chomps from left to right.  Corn pieces in her teeth and all. Buttery salt dripping down her face and onto her pants.  Buttery hands slathering the germ infested pole.  Buttery fingers in her mouth.  Finger licking good.

b) Last night I witnessed a man take off his shoes, place his feet up on the seat and attempt the daily crossword. After getting over my initial disgust, I wondered why someone would voluntarily show off their dirty white socks.  Come on now.  At least wear brown or black. The nerve of some people.

c) Sometimes I feel that people are on transit so much that they forget they aren’t actually in their washroom.  This goes for nail clippers, make-up appliers, eyebrow pluckers, and…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Flossers.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Please, please fling your plaque at me. It would go great with my outfit.

Luckily I don’t venture into the wild without my trusty book, which in turn acts as a fabulous shield to this type of nonsense.

d) Now, this one is not technically public transit… but it involves a car, which is a method of transit, so I’ll let it slide.  At the gas station, as I was inside paying for gas, my friend was approached by two random bums who smelled like ass roses.  They asked her for money, to which she replied…

Friend: Ugh… I don’t really have any.

Roses: Do you have debit?

Wow.  Beggars are really moving on with the times, huh? Debit?!

Since they didn’t want to seem to leave the surrounding area of the car, she ended up giving about two dollars worth of change.

Roses: Don’t you have any more?  You got a five?

Wow.

Enough said.

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I didn’t get a chance to post this before I left work, and good thing, since I had such a lovely experience on the way home… in that case, I’ll write about that first, and make this an ass-backwards post.

I’m having a bad day today, in general, hence the title.  So, if you don’t feel like hearing me complain, well, this is not the post for you. This is more about me venting, so as I don’t become institutionalized and whatnot.

Ugh.  I am so not made for this city.  I’m not rough or tough enough to take it. Many people love it here, and more power to them, but me, not so much anymore. Remember that song (from Sesame Street or the Muppets… something with puppets anyways),

‘One of these things just doesn’t belong?’

That one thing is me.

Some days I can deal, others, ugh. Today is that kind of day. I am happily awaiting my departure (and counting down the days with a vengeance), but it always seems that when you know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, time moves in slow ass motion.

Why can’t people just be nice and normal? Why? 

If I am walking through a doorway, I hold it for the next person, because, hey, I’m decent that way. If someone drops something, I stop and pick it up.  If I bump someone, I apologize.  If I see someone in dying need of a seat, I give mine up.  You know, normal, human nature type things. I’m a big karma believer, so no matter what, I’m still going to be decent, dammit. It’s obviously naive to expect the same treatment in return.  Sometimes though, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, something to the effect of,

‘What is fucking WRONG with you people?!’

On the way home I held the door for the next person, only to get trampled by them. I picked up something an older woman dropped, only to get sworn at by a passerby for stopping in his way.  I waited patiently like everyone else for the bus, only to get elbowed and jabbed by those behind me (and since I believe in a little thing called, a line, I didn’t resort to jabbing and elbowing those ahead of me).  

I didn’t make it on that bus, since by the time those behind me pushed me around, it was packed to the max and I had to wait, defeated, for the next one. Luckily, the next one had more space, which meant a possible seat.  I made my way to a seat, only to be pushed out of the way by some overly stocky little lady with mix matched gloves. I mean, damn, if she needed the seat that badly I would have given it to her.

I don’t have it in me anymore to comment to these people.  There’s no point really. Nothing will change. I’ll stay the same, and so will they. It’s pretty sad that when someone holds the door open for me, or something of the sort, I generally gasp in amazement. It’s a rarity, but it does happen occasionally.  

Why is everyone in a rush to go nowhere fast?  

What is so important that you must trample people to get to your destination?  

What ever happened to enjoying life, or, to be cliche, ‘stop and smell the roses.’  

Don’t get me wrong, I would like to get home pronto, just like the rest of them, and I don’t stroll around with my head in the clouds like some kind of defect.  I just ask for common courtesy is all.  I realize that’s a lot to ask in such a big city. And, I realize not everyone is nasty – but I have no idea where those people are hiding. Come out, come out, where ever you are!  Please? For a day, even. Just one day. 

***********************

Earlier…  

Two posts in one day seems to be a common thing for me these days.  Mostly, because I am so bored I honestly believe I’m loosing what’s left of my mind.  When there’s no work for me, which is more often than not, I sit here, ‘looking busy.’ Writing posts on this thing contributes to that, so I suppose that explains why there have been so many lately.  If my computer screen didn’t face everyone, I’m sure I could find more entertaining things to do online, but it just so happens that’s the way this circus is set up.

Let’s reflect on what I’ve done today, to keep up my ‘looking busy’ status:

1. I often use my stapler.  Generally, there is nothing to staple, but the sound of it makes it seem like I’m doing something, when mostly, I’m not.  I randomly staple invisible documents.  It’s fun, you should try it.

2. I have a wide arrangement of open documents on my computer so that it looks like I have a lot going on. I occasionally open and close them, and sometimes, move them from one folder to another. 

3. Every once and a while it is effective to walk in the back, and give the impression that I’m looking for something.

4. Many washroom breaks.

5. E-books.

6. Staring at the clock and trying to will time to go by faster, with my super-strength mind power.  Lately, this power has been letting me down, big-time.

7. You’d be amazed at the wide variety of icons available for macs.

8. Sometimes I literally just stare at my screen, for minutes on end.  It’s too bad there is no window for me to glare out of, but alas, I am in a dungeon basement. How cool is that I upgraded from a storage closet at my last job, to a dark, chilly basement? Score.

Okay, I’m too annoyed to come up with more tricks.  I really do wonder when they might realize this situation.  I mean, it’s not rocket science, people.  Do the math. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  What’s up with this girl? I mean, she just sits around and does nothing.  She should be happy.  She should be grateful she has a job.  She should blah blah blah.  

Ya, well.  Blah, blah, blah back at you.  It just so happens that I actually want to work (wow, what a concept, I know), and due to contrary belief, I do have a lot to offer.  More, in fact, than this circus even knows about – but I have generally kept to myself about these things, because, well, I am leaving and I don’t see the point, really.  And even if they did know, I have little faith that it would benefit me in any way, shape or form.

Also, there are so many things about this place that scream dysfunctional (as with every job I’m sure – but right now, it’s my turn. Again, the title).  Anyhoo, I won’t actually state these things, as I still actually work here, and feel it’s inappropriate to completely bash the place (like I haven’t already) with gory details.  Although, this may change once I’m out of here.  Oh, and what a glorious day that will be.  It’s so soon I can taste it, and it tastes so sweet.  

*Note* As I wrote this, my coworker held her make-shift finger gun to her head and pulled the trigger. Thank god for allies with similar dispositions… what would we do without them?  This also confirms that it’s not just me that feels this way, and that makes me feel a little more sane, sort of.

And in my defense – I am happy to have a job and I actually don’t mind what I do (when I actually have something to do).  Just not at this particular place, and since it’s Monday, I am reminded that I have 4 more days of trying to look busy, before I can enjoy the weekend.  

I mean, if I got paid well to do nothing, then okay.  If I got paid shit but had a chance to advance or pursue opportunities, then okay.  If it was any of these things or not, but not a million hour commute, okay. There are so many more ‘ifs’ but again, I feel as though karma will bite my ass if I give too many details.

And yes, there are many worse things in life, in general, in the world etc etc.  But, you know, right now, at this very moment in time, this is what annoys me.  And this blog, this is my outlet, and thank god for that, because if I couldn’t write this stuff down, I would literally explode, and some poor sucker would have to clean it up.   

Alrighty, and this closes my bitch session for the day.  I promise to be in a better mood tomorrow, and think many happy thoughts.  In the meantime, I will sit for another 10 minutes and look busy until it’s time for me to jet. 

Bah. Hum. Bug.

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So I pretty much jinxed myself into a dreadful Monday with my last post.  Seriously. It’s like the universe said,

“Oh yeah? You don’t like Monday’s?  Oh, it’s onnnn.  I’ll show you Monday.  It’s so on.”  

As I left work I was welcomed with some lovely wet snow.  You know, not rain, not snow, but hurts like hell when it’s hitting your face horizontally.  Of course because of this, the bus was late.  By the time I got on I pretty much resembled a wet dog – as did everyone else.  The bus was smelly and packed so I had some random man standing over me as I sat.  He was dripping all over me and his crotch was staring me in the face. Fabulous. After the longest ride ever, I hopped on the subway, and settled into my daily crossword routine.  Over my tunage I heard some clicking.

Click.  Click.  Click. Click.  

I assumed it was someone clicking their pen open, closed, open, closed.  

I turned up my ipod and tried for the life of me to figure out 23 across.  

Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  

This time I searched for the clicker.  

Click.

I found her, and realized with horror that it was not a pen she was clicking.  It took me a second to register. I believe I threw up in my mouth a little.

Oh.

My.

God.  

The woman was clipping her nails on the subway.  Clipping her nails.  On the subway.  Nails. Subway.

Click. Click.  

Seriously?  

That is one of the most revolting things I have ever seen.   It by far surpasses eating on transit.  By far.  For serious.  

Clipping her nails?

What on earth would possess someone to even entertain the idea of clipping nails on public transit? This is a bathroom activity, people! Do you shave on transit? Floss? Pluck nose hairs?  Bathroom activities are called “bathroom activities” for a reason. A good reason.  I don’t want your friggin DNA remnants on my coat, thank you very much.  Really.  I mean, when you clip your nails, they don’t always just fall gracefully. Sometimes they torpedo every which way.  I literally sat there in shock for the entire ride, semi shielding myself from possible nail escapees.

So.

Gross.

Right.  So finally I get to the next station and decide to make a pit stop at The Metro to buy food for dinner. You would think people where stocking up for a hurricane, as I’ve never seen the place so busy on a Monday.  I picked up four things.  Chicken burgers, pickles, wraps, and cheese.  I thought even with a line up, it should be semi-quick.  Plus, I thought a picked a pretty good line – only four people in front. Sweet.

Forty-five minutes later, I finally make it to the front.  

Forty.

Five.  

Minutes.  

In line.  Four people.  

And there was no line switching opportunity for me either.  I was boxed in and with my luck, would have chosen a worse line – so I stayed put.  At one point I thought that if I tried to use my super-strength-mind-power I could make the conveyer belt thingy go faster.  All I wanted was to burn the nail clipping from my memory, put on some warm clothes and eat the best chicken burger wrap ever.  

Finally I got home and chatted with a friend for a bit on the phone.  I’m one of those people that walks around my apartment when I’m on the phone.  So there I was, and suddenly without warning, I somehow lobbed my phone across my apartment.  It crashed to the ground and part of the casing fell off.  I just got this phone back from ‘the shop’ after being fixed for a month. Thankfully it was okay, and when I called my friend back she said all of a sudden she could only hear me screaming…

“SERIOUSLY!!!!!????  Come. ON.  Seriously.  What the hell!” 

So, I eventually got down to business and made my awesome chicken wrap thing.  I think I’m a pretty skilled wrap maker – never too full… just right, you know?  So I made two wraps, sat down on the couch, took a deep breath and took a bite out of what I’d been waiting for all night.  

And splat.  

The wrap broke and it’s contents landed on the floor.  

At this point all I could do was laugh, because the alternative would have been me loosing my mind.  After I cleaned up I realized I still had another.  I handled it like it was a rare jewel.  I ate it.  All of it.  Slowly. It was so good. It was the best wrap that ever touched my mouth.  

Like always, it’s the small victories.  It’s like all of the crazyness that happened pre-wrap has been wiped away with post-wrap bliss.  

Much. Better.

 

 

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One of the stations I pass through on the way to work is a major transit hub. Mainly because it’s the ‘end of the line’ for that subway line.

Sometimes, my bus arrives at the station at the same time a train pulls in. As I head down to the train, there’s an up escalator and a set of stairs. Whenever a train comes in the same time I’m heading down, it’s like attack of the swarming black coats.  

Many people choose the stairs over the escalator, and fair enough, since escalator etiquette and the idea of ‘walk left, stand right‘ must be rocket science. So the stairs it is. Some people literally sprint up them, which always confuses me.  I mean, who in their right mind is actually in a rush to get to work? So in addition to these people being off their rockers, they also don’t seem to understand that stairs are not a one way street and some people actually need to get down them.  

Oh, what a concept!

It’s literally a game of shoulder checks, and sometimes, when needed, a swift tackle.  

Yesterday, I stood at the top of the stairs, took a deep breath, and faced the swarm of sprinting coats.  Most of the time I try to follow that one brave, lonesome transit rider heading down, so I can follow the path they’ve opened up.  No luck yesterday, though.  

About half way down, and a few shoulder checks later, one woman coming up the stairs stopped directly in front of me.  So, I stopped too.  She just looked at me, like a deer caught in head lights.  I raised my eyebrows and didn’t budge.  

She told me to move, and might I add, in a very rude tone.  Bad idea on a Monday.

I replied, ‘And where exactly would you like me to move to?  You have 8 lanes coming up the staircase and I don’t have a single one to go down. You move. Seriously.’  

She continued to stare at me.

I’ll admit, the thought of pushing her down the stairs did cross my mind, but you know, I’m not that mean, mostly.  So instead, I gave her the evil eye and stood my ground.  

She was obviously unaware of my condition – only childitis combined with supreme stubbornness.  I give in for no one. Take my word for it, I could stand there all day.  I believe she swore at me in some language, then gave up, and disappeared into the swarm.

HA.

It’s the small victories, it really is.

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