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Posts Tagged ‘silly’

Today’s Special consists of some mental notes for the day:

Mental Note #75690

Three day old pizza is not good, no matter how hungry you are or how much creativity you put into reheating it.

Mental Note #488

People like this should have their mouths sewn shut or need to be destroyed.

Example:

Girl A:  Like, oh my god, what is that all about?

Girl B:  Like, I know, right?

A:  Totally.  Like, I don’t even know what, like, communications and PR is.

B:  Whatever, right?  Like, who needs that stuff anyways, right?

A:  Yeah.  I mean, like, screw them, right?

B:  Yeah! Hee, hee, hee.

A:  Hee, hee, hee.

**This was an actual conversation I overheard on the subway today**

It has taken me some time to accept that there are many idiots that walk the face of the earth and be sort of okay with it, mostly. But seriously, it’s probably not wise to announce your lack of intelligence so openly.

Mental Note #3

Larry David rocks my socks.  For serious.  Not only is he the creator of Seinfeld, but also, Curb Your Enthusiasm still rises as one of the few shows that can actually make me laugh out loud.

Mental Note #5521

The next driver that honks at me as I try to balance myself while sliding across an intersection will have a nice impression of my boot on the side of their car.

Mental Note #768

The dude that lives below me is either,

a) a drug dealer.

b) someone that enjoys strange orgy parties while blasting Elton John and Metallica within a ten minute span.

c) someone that is addicted to one of those loud, active video games such as dance, dance, revolution.

d) someone that screams and becomes overly excited for no apparent reason.

Mental Note #988

My coworker is smarter than the average bear.  She caught onto my plan of signing up to bring in ‘Christmas goodies’ on a day that I will no longer be working.  Damn you!

Mental Note #91

The next stranger that feels the need to tell me to ‘smile’ will get an earful from me. I’m not going to walk around with a damn perma-smile, because, well, that’s not me. If you don’t like my face, then don’t look.  Deal with it.

Mental Note #66571

Cafeteria Xmas lunch is good for my taste buds, but not so much for my stomach. Ugh.  Pain.

And that concludes my ‘Mental Notes’ for the day. 

Fin.

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Hooray, I’m in a better mood than yesterday.  Time for yet another random, ‘Dear… ‘ post:

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Dear People Who Drive in Winter Climates,

Please put an end to honking and/or inching up on me as I’m trying to cross the intersection. You are in a car, warm and toasty.  I am only trying to cross the icy, slushy street without falling on my ass.

Love,

The Girl Who Will Only Move Slower if You Keep it Up.

***

Dear Rick Mercer,

Awesomeness.

Love,

Silentorchestra.

***

Dear Feet,

Why must you be magnets for other people’s feet?  

Love,

The Girl Who Constantly Gets Stomped On.

***

Dear Guy Who Stomped On My Foot,

That hurt like a son of a bitch, but thank you for apologizing.

Love,

The Girl With a Possible Broken Toe.

***

Dear Christmas,

Bah Hum Bug.

Love,

Miss Grinch.

***

Dear Little Kid Who Wiped His Wet Boot on My Coat,

You are lucky I was wearing the black one rather than the white one today.

Love,

The Girl Who Was Okay With it Because You Were So Damn Cute.

***

Dear Jagermeister,

Never again.  Do you hear me?  Never, ever.  It’s over.

Love,

Drunk Dialer.

***

Dear Allies at Work,

You are too funny – I will miss that.

Love,

Barbados Bound.

***

Dear Food,

Please learn how to make yourself.

Love,

The Girl Who’s Stomach is Rumbling.

***

Dear Creep,

Stop calling.  Especially at 5am.  Seriously.

Love,

The Girl Who Will Never Answer.

***

Dear Mr. Bus Driver,

Thank you so very much not picking me up as I waited for the bus in the rain. Thank you even more for speeding past and splashing me.  Much appreciated. 

Love,

The Girl Who Flipped You the Bird.

***

Dear Mama,

Thank you SO much for allowing me the opportunity to gloat about my upcoming plans.  Yay.

Love, 

Your Daughter, Who Will Be There in 27 Days.  Weeeeeeeee!

***

Dear Silentorchestra,

That’s enough.  Stop while you’re ahead.

Love,

This Post.

***

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