Posts Tagged ‘spit’

Originally I had planned to post something completely different… but too much happened on my way to work this morning to just not write about it.  

Ready, set…

So this morning as I stood on my first bus, I noticed a massive SUV pull up beside us.  This is a usual occurrence in my hood, as practically everyone and their damn dog has one (except for us poor and/or environmentally saavy folk – however you want to slice it is fine by me).

Anyhoo, so the tinted window on the passenger side slid down and I saw a professional looking middle aged woman in a suit.  I figured, maybe she needs fresh air, or maybe she’s going to have a smoke.  


None of the above.  

Instead, I saw her make that unmistakable face (I swear I felt like I could hear the sound) and then, a massive glob of spit flew out of her mouth.  


Very classy.  

It blows my mind that people are actually that disgusting.  I mean, have some self respect already.  Jesus. 

On my last bus, as I happily glared at Cash Money’s ass (another random transit crush), a regular came on and blocked my view.  

I was okay with it, eventually.  

Mainly because this dude was doing something hilarious that he obviously didn’t realize he was doing.  As he was talking with one of his buds, he was holding the pole.  He had gloves on so his hand kept slipping.  As it continued to slip, he moved it up and down, up, down, up, down… faster and faster.  

It honestly looked like he was beating off the pole.  

Yes, I have a dirty mind, okay.  And that might also be because I caught the South Park episode last night about how the kids learn sex-ed, and a similar action was a big part of it.  It took every single bit of morning pre-coffee strength for me not to burst out laughing.

Then, while ordering my coffee, a new Starbuck’s kid asked me a question.  He obviously isn’t aware of my horrid morning mood like the rest of them.  It went a little something like this:

Me: Hi.  Can I please have a Grande Americano with the extra shot.

Dude: Sure.  Nice ring.

M: *grunt* Thanks.

D: Where did you get it?

M: Which one?

D: The one on your thumb.

**This ring is super cool.  It’s black with silver designs on it.  It’s almost like 2 rings together, and you can twist the designs to make different ones.**

M:  Oh, I acquired it, sort of… ya.

D:  Really? How?

M:  It’s a long story.

D:  So… what’s the story?

M:  Okay, well, some random dude gave it to me.

D:  Random dude?

M:  Yep.

D:  What do you mean?

I’m totally annoyed at this point.  Seriously.  Gimme my coffee and shut the F up. Like I said, not a morning person, not at all.

M:  Well, I met some dude who worked at a bar, who turned out to know my friend through family.  I told him I liked his ring.  He gave it to me. 

D: WOW. That’s amazing!!

M: Uh… okay.  Sure. 

D:  Ya, I mean, like, who does that?

M:  Apparently that dude.

D: Wow! That’s soooo cool. You must be really, like, special and stuff.

M: *Grunt/laugh*  Ya, I guess.  

D:  Awesome!

M: Alrighty. Coffee. Need. Now.

I really can’t handle overly excited and happy people in the morning… I really can’t.  

That little conversation reminded me that not only have I acquired the majority of junk in my apartment, but also, my accessories. Rock on… er, or shall I say, acquire on.  


And that’s the kind of day it’s been, this Wednesday, December 3, 2008.

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